it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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