THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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