Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
