Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
