Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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