Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
