So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
