It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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