Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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