Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
