Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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