At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i think i just lost a toe
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
