a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
