We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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