i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
