I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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