"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
