At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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