You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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