i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
