yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
