That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
