I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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