Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
