Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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