PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i came on her dog
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
