so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like death gave me a hand job
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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