windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
