I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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