Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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