My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize