Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
