there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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