He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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