just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
