should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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