I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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