Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
