I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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