i think i have herpe
just one?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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