Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize