I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
