btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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