Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
