I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
