you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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