Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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