But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
be right there i have to get my cape
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
