i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
