It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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