i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Is it because I queefed?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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