so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
