How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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