ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
