I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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