I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The best revenge is premature balding
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Found your dick twin last night
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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