it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
