his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
