i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
