Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize