You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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