Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
