ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
