so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Farmville is her only friend.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
