I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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