You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
