sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just had sex on a roof
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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