They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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