I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
