What did we do last night that was yellow?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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