i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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