is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
