What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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