We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
