Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
