and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
