It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
