She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
