'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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