After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
