i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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