i think my mom watched the whole time
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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