what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
there is puke in my bra ... again
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
