I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
