she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize