I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
