How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it glows. i had to have it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
