yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize